真正的程序員 (轉)[@more@]? * Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should cons ider themselves? lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
? 真正的 程序員不循規蹈矩，他們對 用戶說：拿到你想要的，然后滾蛋，
? 你已經很幸運了！

* Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify. 真正的程序員不寫注釋。難寫的程序天生難以理解、難以修改。

* Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming. 真正的程序員不寫應用程序。他們愛白手起家。只有不懂寫系統程序的 軟弱者才寫應用程序。

* Real Programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real programmers don't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food. 真正的程序員不吃蛋卷。他們根本不屑也不懂拼“quiche（蛋卷）”這個詞。 他們吃twinkies和四川菜。 注：twinkies可能是某種用兩片面包片夾著的食物。

* Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers. 真正的程序員不用cobol寫程序。cobol是讓膽小鬼用的。

* Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.

真正的程序員總愛留些臭蟲。只有將他扔回電腦旁，他才肯低頭。他們只 需幾次就能調試好程序，但每次“只”需要30小時。

* Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies. 真正的程序員不用fortran寫程序。fortran是讓科學怪人用的。

* Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night. 真正的程序員不朝九晚五。如果你在早上見到一個象盲流一樣的程序員， 那是因為他整晚工作。

* Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12. 真正的程序員絕不用basic。如果你只有十二歲，你只管用， 你真的只有十二歲？！！

* Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. 真正的程序員不用PL/I。如果你竟在用cobol還是用fortran上猶豫， 那你干脆做個徹底的笨蛋算了－－用PL/I吧！

* Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room. 真正的程序員不玩需要換裝的運動，比如網球。 登山是最好的了，他們工作時總穿著登山鞋，而且他們覺得會有一座 山在機房中央隆起，然后他們就能方便地爬上去。

* Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck. 真正的程序員不寫文檔。文檔是讓看不懂源程序的笨人準備的，而他們 不喜歡笨人。

* Real Programmers don't write in BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories. 真正的程序員不用bliss、ada這類嬰兒語言。記性差的人喜歡敲鍵盤， 真正的程序員記性都很好。

* Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single pl.NET. 真正的程序員只為未來機器上用的語言寫標準。鬼才會相信有哪個星球會 用他們的標準。

* Real Programmers spend 70% of their work day fiddling around and then get more done in the other 30% than a user could get done in a week. 真正的程序員花70％的時間無事生非，然后用剩余的時間完成別人要一個 星期才干完的事。

* Real Programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don't turn from 99999 to 9999A. 真正的程序員很詫異于他們小車上的里程表不會從99999跳到9999A。

* Real Programmers are concerned with the aesthetics of their craft; they will writhe in pain at shabby workmanship in a piece of code. 真正的程序員很關心他們寫的代碼的藝術性。一小段蹩腳的代碼都 會讓他們寢食不安。

* Real Programmers will defend to the death the virtues of a certain piece of peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, the teRminal. 真正的程序員會捍衛他們的生命線－－網絡。

* Real Programmers never use hard copy terminals, they never use terminals that run at less than 9600 baud, they never use a terminal at less than its maximum practical speed. 真正的程序員從不用慢modem。他們不用低于9600bps的modem，事實上， 他們不用任何低于極限速度的modem。

* Real Programmers think they know the answers to your problems, and will happily tell them to you rather than answer your questions. 真正的程序員知道你所遇到的問題，他們不會等你發問。

* Real Programmers never program in COBOL, money is no object. 真正的程序員不用cobol編程，金錢如糞土。 注：不知所云！

* Real Programmers never right justify text that will be read on a fixed-character-width medium. 真正的程序員將文本寫得錯落有致。

* Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear sandals. When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals. 真正的程序員愛穿涼鞋，就算天氣變冷，他們也只是再穿上襪子而已。 只有寒風徹骨時，他們才會換上跑鞋。

* Real Programmers don't think that they should get paid at all for their work, but they know that they're worth every penny that they do make. 真正的程序員并不奢求取得每一分該得的錢，但任何拿到手的錢都 問心無愧。

* Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between. 真正的程序員每天只需記錄起床后的第一件事和睡覺前的最后一件事， 之間的一切照套模板即可。

* Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the illerate's foRM of documentation. 真正的程序員不畫流程圖。流程圖是文盲寫的文檔。

* Real Programmers don't use Macs. Computers which draw cute little pictures are for wimps. 真正的程序員不用MAC機。能畫可愛的卡通的電腦是給膽小鬼用的。

* Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of a novice and a coward. 真正的程序員不看使用指南。只有初學者和膽小鬼會百分百相信手冊。

* Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for gum chewing twits who maintain ancient payroll programs. 真正的程序員不用cobol。cobol只能用來維護遠古的工資程序。

* Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks. The get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulations. 真正的程序員不寫fortran程序。fortran是讓畏縮的白領工程師用的。 那些人只鐘情于有限的狀態分析和核反應堆模擬。

* Real Programmers don't write in Modula-2. Modula-2 is for insecure analretentives who can't choose between Pascal and COBOL. 真正的程序員不用modula-2編程。modula-2集合了pascal和cobol的缺點。

* Real Programmers don't write in APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line. 真正的程序員不寫apl程序，除非他能在一行內把一個程序寫完。

* Real Programmers don't write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code. 真正的程序員不用lisp編程。只有女人氣的程序員才會用的括號比代碼還多。

* Real Programmers distain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up shARP pencils on an otherwise clear desk. 真正的程序員鄙視結構化編程。結構化編程是讓過早被訓練怎樣上廁所 的強迫性精神病患者用的。那些人在工作前要打好領帶，然后小心翼翼 地在另一張書桌上削鉛筆。

* Real Programmers SCOrn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to think big. 真正的程序員鄙視浮點運算。十進制是為蠢人而發明的。

* Real Programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every Real Program. Some candyass architectures won't allow EXECUTE instructions to address another EXECUTE instruction as the target instruction. Real Programmers despise petty restrictions. 真正的程序員深諳指令之間的細微差別，而且非在寫的每一個程序中 都體現出來不可。有些編譯器不允許EXECUTE指令象對目標指令那樣 對另一個EXECUTE指令尋址。真正的程序員對這種限制熟記于心。

* Real Programmers Don't use PL/I. PL/I is for insecure momma's boys who can't choose between Cobol and Fortran. 真正的程序員不用PL/I。PL/I是讓偎依在媽媽身邊的小男孩在無法 從cobol和pascal中選擇時用的。

* Real Programmers don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the Chief Programmer. 真正的程序員不愛與人合作，除非自已是主程序員。

* Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are sometimes a necessary evil. Managers are good for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives. 真正的程序員對經理來說一無用處。但經理卻是不可或缺的魔鬼。經理 能擺平那些有心智缺陷的人，比如那些資深的策劃者（他們很愛“教導” 程序員們）。

* Real programmers ignore schedules. 真正的程序員不按日程表辦事。

* Real Programmers don't bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn't sell it, they don't eat it. 真正的程序員不帶午餐上班。有得吃就吃，沒得吃就餓著。

* Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue. 真正的程序員在冒險和滋事時腦子最聰明。

* Real Programmers use C since it's the easiest language to spell. 真正的程序員用C，因為C是最容易拼的語言，只有一個字母。

* Real Programmers don't use symbolic debuggers, who needs symbols. 真正的程序員不用符號化的調試器，因為它竟需要符號。

* Real Programmers only curse at inanimate objects. 真正的程序員只詛咒死氣沉沉的東西。

來自 “ ITPUB博客 ” ，鏈接：http://blog.itpub.net/10752019/viewspace-980592/，如需轉載，請注明出處，否則將追究法律責任。

轉載于:http://blog.itpub.net/10752019/viewspace-980592/

總結

以上是生活随笔為你收集整理的真正的程序员 (转)的全部內容，希望文章能夠幫你解決所遇到的問題。

如果覺得生活随笔網站內容還不錯，歡迎將生活随笔推薦給好友。